Thank you!

On Sunday, December 8th, 2019 I decided I would finally announce to everyone my diagnosis. At nearly two months later, I felt I was ready to tell people beyond my very closest inner circle, that I had cancer. I decided it could be beneficial, insightful, perhaps educational, for some to hear— or at the very least a way to just say ‘hi, this is what’s up if you care’ to people I haven’t spoken to in ages.

I remember shaking once I hit post on Facebook. Matt was visiting me for the first time when I told him I had made my post and he was surprised to feel me shaking from nervousness.

I felt like a fraud in some twisted way. Why should I make such an “elaborate” post to the ‘world’? What gives me the right to pour my feelings onto the internet for just anyone to see? Who the fuck cares anyway?

But let me tell you… the comments, private messages, words passed on— even from friends of friends, the shares, and just love hearts, really just blew me away.

I teared up as I saw the flood of support come rolling in.

From people I only spoke to once in a blue moon. From people who used to be my close friends but had grown apart. From far away family. From friends coast to coast…

I don’t consider myself a good friend. Or a social person. Or a particularly great human being— though I try. I know I mess up, say the wrong things, don’t always showcase my feelings very warmly… so to know so many people care… even just the slightest, became overwhelming to me.

So thank you very much for giving me a little bump of encouragement as I get through this journey. It still feels surreal. I don’t know what the outcome will be. Which is why i might have all these mixed feelings towards my announcement, my blog, my chats with people…

But, “It is what it is!” as I keep telling people. There’s no point hiding the facts. This is my reality now. And I’d like to share it. Selfishly. But also in hopes it will help even just one person out there.

Thanks for your support. It means everything to me.