Selfie featuring my leftover fuzzies on top of my head ahah!

Before my diagnosis I had plenty of goals. Not just for 2020, but the upcoming years. The next 6 months, year, my 30s, etc.

I had a few different options or ‘routes’ in my head.

I had a few different visions for myself and my life with Matt.

And even though there’s a new chapter added to my story, a lot of my goals remain the same. Because I hold onto hope that things will go back to (almost) normal one day soon. I cut out all the unnecessary fluff and narrowed it down to what I feel is truly important to me right now, and in my near future.

And I’m also prepared for that not to happen as well. As I like to say (and much to Matt and other people in my life’s dismay), I’m a realist, so I look at the good and bad, I weigh the pros and cons, and look at all possibilities. I like to plan around it all.

So despite this #breastcancerjourney of mine, most of my goals are the same, just tweaked. I am not letting it change me or flip me around 180 degrees. I’m just making the appropriate adjustments and considering all potential proceeding chapters that may come my way.

Thanks, Nicole for the planner from your work! I got these PaperMate marker pens off Amazon.

I thought I would had bought a house by now. Maybe two, keeping one as an income property. Had a career that paid way more. Been in a different career entirely. In fact, had owned my own business. Lived elsewhere. Had traveled more. Maybe had thought about kids and marriage at some point. Wouldn’t still have student debt. Wouldn’t live thousands of miles from the love of my life. And definitely didn’t foresee cancer in my 20’s… but I don’t let that get me down.

I don’t have 100 different goals. I have some major ones that feed some smaller ones, and they mostly fit on this page. My top goals in life have always been simple, though they haven’t always stayed the same. You learn things as you grow, of course… what is priority. What is a must. What is just a ‘nice to have’. What must be put on the back burner…

So here are my top goals for the next little while of my life…

1) Beat cancer. This has made its way to the top immediately, needless to say. It takes precedence these days. The side effects, pills, mental fatigue and battles in my head. Balancing work, life, and personal care, chemo sessions and appointments, worries, next steps in my treatment plan. Even though this is #1 I don’t want it to consume me entirely.

2) Be Positive. Maintain a positive outlook on life no matter what happens next in my story. Cancer is my current chapter. I hope it won’t always be, but regardless of my future, I hope to live my best life. For me, that looks like staying busy on all fronts (work, personal growth, health and fitness, maintaining a healthy relationship with friends, partner, and family). I want to help others going through this journey once I make it out to the other side myself. I would love to volunteer soon, but for now I hope my blog helps even just a tiny bit. Do you have any tips or tricks for me on this front? What keeps you positive?

3) Buy a House. My top goal for the last few years has been to buy my first ever home with Matt. We’ve both rented nearly our entire adult lives. And it worked for us since we were always on the move! But it’s also a little sad to think of the money we’ve spent on renting vs. owning. I think it’s well past due we invested in our own home and settled down someplace. Unfortunately the Vancouver area didn’t work for us, so we’re hoping Ottawa in 2020 or 2021 will be our time to shine! My original goal was to buy by September 2020 (my 30th birthday month) but it’s looking like that’ll be delayed, and that’s ok. There are still tons of things we can do to prepare for this exciting milestone like continuing to pay off debt, working on our careers, saving for a bigger down payment, etc. We are ready though. This is the one thing that makes me SO impatient— especially since we live apart currently! I am always looking online, pinning interior design ideas on Pinterest, sending Matt ideas, you name it! Haha.

4) Travel. As mentioned in my Fertility Experience blog, Matt and I were never sure on having children. What we were sure about is experiencing other ways of life, cultures, architecture, food, music, art… I want to see the world. I want to breathe it all in. I want to see amazing sights and feel in complete awe. I cry when I see things of beauty. Things that are different. This has always sparked a fire in my soul and I haven’t done nearly enough traveling to feel accomplished in this front. For now, I cannot fly. I can’t even visit Matt in Ottawa. But I can go on little day trips, visit new museums, try new local cuisine, see the beautiful scenery of British Columbia. I’m very fortunate to live in such a stunning area of Canada— of the world. So I will start small and work my way up. Where would you suggest I visit once I’m better?

5) Health and Fitness. The conflicting information for cancer patients— and humans in general, is so insanely frustrating. “Go Keto. Eat frequent high carb meals. Go vegan. Eat whole protein sources including organ meats. Don’t eat X, Y, Z and avoid this completely. Be sure to eat these 294830968 foods daily. It’s all about balance. Eat your superfoods. Kale, kale, kale!” I believe cancer doesn’t just come about by chance. I think it’s an unknown variety of reasons for the individual that their cells start to grow out of whack and form cancer. I think it has a lot to do with our environment, stress levels, nutrition, exercise, trauma, exposure, etc. Why else would the numbers be upping and upping and impacting younger and younger people as the decades go by? (If you believe differently, that’s okay too. I’m just writing about my opinions). I don’t think we’ll pin point the reasons for any particular individual any time soon (unless genetic), but if I can learn more about nutrition and exercise— at the very least I have something I can better control about MY body, and I believe that’s a good starting place for me. We all know eating healthy and working out is beneficial, so I’ll maintain as healthy a lifestyle as possible. What are some things you found helpful in this area while on your journey? Any words of wisdom for me?

6) Personal. This includes a few things I like to do each day such as:

Play piano. (I started playing when I was a preteen but gave it up for many years, so I’m getting back on track! Just slowly, teaching myself)
Learn French/Portuguese on DuoLingo app. (I’m nearly on day 300 with more emphasis on French since that’s a bit more useful living in Ottawa and having a bilingual partner!)
Blog. Even if no one reads, I find it therapeutic.
Stress less, which means finding a better work-life balance. I know by chemo round 4 which days I can handle more work hours and which ones I can just do the bare minimum in order to avoid stress or feeling like I’m not taking care of myself in other ways. I also realize in saying this… money doesn’t buy happiness. I don’t need to work myself to death. Because I don’t need 100 different materialistic things. I still consider myself extremely spoiled, well off, and privileged but my perspective on happiness and work-life balance has been changing… I think simple is better for me.
I want to cut out alcohol. Maybe limit it to 1 drink a month. I have struggled with alcohol consumption for all of my adult life and I know this very well could be one factor that hinders my ability to fight off cancer.
Smile more. Communicate more with friends and family. Be grateful. Live in the moment. But also accept the difficult mental waves that come my way which result in me not wanting to talk to anyone (I’m sorry if I’m slow in responding to you! Please don’t take it personally. It’s just that sometimes that is the HARDEST thing for me to do in my darkest days… I don’t know why. I shut down and go silent but still appreciate every message, hello, word of encouragement, conversation with my parents, sitting in silence with a friend, etc. I come back around soon enough! I promise.)
Maintain my own responsibility. Do chores. Do my own groceries. Meal plan and cook (and post annoying Instagram food snaps, haha #sorrynotsorry, because I like it). Drive more (I still only have my N license aka G2 for all my Ontario peeps) so getting more familiar with being out on my own will give me more freedom.
Get outdoors more. I want to go for walks at least 3x/week even if it’s pouring rain. I think getting myself out of the house (since I work from home and have an at-home gym too) is especially necessary. I spend too much time in my bedroom.
Read more. I have so many books on the go right now. But I only manage to read a chapter or two each day. Some of them are on nutrition/health, some are about cancer specifically, some are fiction (I love horror and murder mystery, I know, dark haha), some are biographies, some are little ‘daily hope’ style books, etc. I like a good variety depending on the day! Thank you to anyone who sent me a book! You know who you are. :-)

What are your personal goals? I like hearing the small ones! Drink more water? Eat more vegetables? Volunteer? Read more?

Nutrition, hope/positivity stories, fitness, biographies, horror/fiction… that’s my cup of tea when it comes to books currently!

So that’s pretty much it. Pretty basic things to want to accomplish over the next year or so…

They’re already things I’m doing and working towards. I’ve just tweaked them accordingly.

I don’t put too much pressure on myself either. If I only spend 10 minutes on playing piano, I’m happy. That is better than 0. If I don’t work out one day, but get in a killer workout the following day, I’m stoked. If I work even just 2 hours, I’m proud.

I have to be patient on some of the bigger picture goals, such as buying a home, but there are always things I can do in the meantime to work towards it. So bear that in mind with your own goals! Baby steps. One day at a time. Not everyone can speed through life and crush 10 goals a month.

Let me know what YOUR goals for 2020 are.
Are you a new year’s resolution type person? Why or why not?
I’d love to hear what you have planned for your future (short or long term, big or small).

Leave me a comment or send me an email shestaysstrongblog@gmail.com. Or come find me on Instagram @shestaysstrongblog (I post a lot more on here of my day-to-day stuff!) I’d love to chat.

Thanks for reading! XO