It’s been two months since my bilateral mastectomy with expanders and axillary surgery with lymph node removal.

Here is an update on the healing side of things…

Please note: all photos after this one are of me topless— transitioning towards my new body. If this offends you, stop reading and kindly remind yourself that if this is the case, this blog isn’t for you and that is okay.

The last couple of months have been quite the adventure needless to say…

It took me the maximum amount of recommended time to remove all of my drains (3 weeks post-surgery to the day). It took 1 week post-surgery to remove the two from my breasts and a full 3 to remove the one from my axillary surgery. In fact, I was still leaking clear fluid from my final drain of the armpit area even after the drain was removed and it would soak through my bandages for a few days until the hole plugged up.

That means for 22 days I could not shower. I sponge-bathed every day (or two) depending if I felt like it (did I do a little workout or walk outside and sweat? Or did I lie in bed a lot of the day?) Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE baths… #selfcare. I swear having bubble baths is a legit hobby of mine (haha)— but not being able to shower for 3+ weeks was brutal. I couldn’t even sit in water deeper than my lower ribs and I had to wrap the drain tube around my neck to ensure it didn’t get wet. It was a total pain but doable. The first few baths my mom had to help me get lowered into the water. Luckily there’s a support bar already installed in the bathroom downstairs so that helped a lot!

Every little movement to my arm made my chest muscles flex and everything just felt so awkwardly awful. In fact, to this day I still cannot lift much weight (certainly no push ups, pull ups, lifting anything past 20-30lbs with both arms…) otherwise it just messes with the expanders and doesn’t feel pleasant. This means when I’m working out I cannot lift much weight (which kills my soul a bit— it’s all I want to get back into. My one healthy hobby feels as though it’s stripped from me. But I have to look at the bright side and think to myself: what CAN I do? Light weights. Bodyweight. Treadmill. And pre-loaded machines at the gym. I am so fortunate to be able to move my body to 90% of its usual capacity).

It probably took about a full month for me to be able to lie down on my stomach or side (anything but propped up on an angle on my back) and that was most annoying of all. I am one to toss and turn all night long and in every sleeping position possible, so it brought about some restless sleeps. Luckily my parents had bought me a big wedge pillow the day of my surgery so that has been the handiest tool of all. Sometimes I would nap on the recliner couch instead. Obviously the pain killers in the first week or so allowed me some solid sleep but after that I got quite sick of the sleeping position. I got pretty bored of just lying on an angle in one position or standing (haha) but slowly and surely I was able to move more and more. Now I can pretty well sleep how I want but I do have to be careful not to injure my left arm— it’s easy to crush and make numb.

Highly recommend a wedge pillow like this! You can check out my link to this exact one by clicking the image above! It was the only way I could lie down and get some rest for quite a few days/weeks! Don’t skip out on this item for post-surgery.

My biggest concern is still the cording— the tight rope-like fleshy thing made up of hardened lymph vessels that runs across my armpit and into my bicep. It’s quite common post surgery I have learned, but nonetheless that doesn’t make me feel great. It greatly reduced my mobility and made simple chores quite tedious to do. It took me a good six weeks to finally be able to stretch my arm over my head completely (front and side). Even now it seems uncomfortable because I feel the expanders in my chest move about. Nothing about my new chest is normal but that’s okay.

I can’t wait until massage therapists open back up again so I can work on treating this to avoid future problems but for now I just try to stretch it and massage it myself. I should definitely be doing it more often though.

I was pretty slow in recovering to be able to lift my left arm above my head and when I had my consult with the radiologist oncologist she was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to lie in the machine without being uncomfortable but I seemed to heal up just in time! Phew. The cording does seem to be going away— although I do sense tightness if I push myself too much physically, which is frustrating. I miss lifting weights and not worrying about how much weight I’m carrying in my arms (like carrying in groceries, picking up my cat, moving a random article out of the way, pushing a cart at the grocery store— it’s funny the simple things we take for granted…)

As you can see from the photos I had immediate ‘reconstruction’ at surgery which meant the plastic surgeon was there to slip in and fill expanders a wee bit at the time of surgery.

Exposed. Bath time. This drain became my companion haha.

I had been so nervous that with COVID-19 happening I would be denied the reconstruction and I am beyond grateful I got the original surgery plan I had wanted. Obviously I appeared incredibly flat from the side but it did provide a bit of shape from the front and in certain shirts— I was impressed with the results, honestly. The scars weren’t as bad as I had envisioned them— maybe they look bad to you, but considering the surgeon’s task at hand I would say her work was very clean. I will wear these scars proudly.

And hell yes, I will get a tattoo cover up one day!

I remember being SO excited after my first fill. I know my chest will never be like it once was but I’m appreciative of what surgeons can do these days.

My first fill was a couple of weeks post-surgery and I remember driving home blasting Lizzo and feeling on top of the world. Okay sure, I had wicked scars, lost mobility, had no nipples— but I felt so lucky and appreciative.

I only managed to get in 2 fills before radiation (and because of the precise markers they need to make for that, I cannot do any more for at least a few months post-radiation). For my second fill my plastic surgeon filled it up double the usual amount and now that the skin has stretched and settled I’m pretty happy. I think I will do another fill or two at the end of the year but if this is it, I’m happy. (I’ll post more current pictures later on— radiation will change the left side quite a bit in texture and skin colour unfortunately).

Lymphedema is still a big concern of mine (always will be). Radiation increases my chances of that, which is unfortunate… but I’d rather deal with a permanent swollen arm than cancer again… (ah yes, cancer patients really are enforced to follow the whole ‘beggars can’t be choosers’ thing…) So to monitor this I just measure certain points on both arms every single weak. I will have a follow up consult with a doctor in January 2021 on this. If I do develop swelling I will have a special sleeve fitted to wear full time. If I’m careful at the gym, avoid sunburns, bug bites, cuts and bruises, I should be okay. But it’s a very unpredictable thing! Fingers crossed I avoid it.

So that’s it for now. Thanks for reading! I’ll do more blog posts on the rest of my journey soon. But if you have any questions about the surgery for me, let me know! I’m sure I’ve left out a ton of detail since I haven’t blogged in so long. Feel free to email me at shestaysstrongblog@gmail.com if you have any questions or comments. And if you’re not already, follow me on Instagram @shestaysstrongblog for more frequent updates. #shestaysstrong