I got the call with my surgery date just one week ago…

It had been estimated for early May all along, so having it booked for April 29th was exciting— I felt like I had pushed the fast forward button just a little bit (I think we all want to hit the fast forward button on 2020, am I right?!) The surgeon told me because elective surgeries are on pause the life-saving surgeries are being pumped through faster than usual (well that’s good…)

I cried as the receptionist told me I would be getting my double mastectomy with expanders as I had originally signed for. B.C. is one of the few places still doing some elective surgeries. Yes, the second breast and expanders are considered elective, which is cruel in my opinion. Going through breast cancer is shitty enough but not having your choice in surgery is another slap to the face for some women. This past month I had it in my head I would only be getting a single flat mastectomy. I would’ve done it, of course— pushed forward, but this is one small thing that has gone my way!

That potentially means a more difficult recovery time for me— after all it is two breasts removed instead of one and expanders slipped under the muscle that will have to be filled to stretch the skin over time. But I think I made the right choice for me. It’s hard to say as I haven’t seen myself in the mirror yet, though. It’s only been 28 hours since I woke up from surgery.

Here’s what has happened in the last week or so…

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1) MUGA scan (aka heart scan).

Monday April 20th I went in for my second heart scan. This was the first one since starting Herceptin. A ‘safe’ or ideal test result is anywhere between 50-70. My heart was at a 68 or 69 before Herceptin (I forget, but it was near perfect). And just after 3 months of Herceptin, it has dropped to 51. I was just barely passable to receive Herceptin this week— which is scary, I need to be on this until the end of the year. So even though I’m done chemo, I still go to the chemo ward every 3 weeks for an injection via my port for this drug. I’m not sure what happens next— maybe I’ll need another heart scan sooner than later. I had been booked them for every 3 months until January 2021 but I’ll have to see, I guess!

2) Call from the surgeon’s receptionist.

I got the call Thursday April 23rd that I would have surgery the following Wednesday. I was sent an email with a ton of paperwork to read through— everything from removal of piercings, to specific soap to buy, to what to eat and when, and how to shower the night before. Because of the Corona virus happening right now, all of the appointments would be scheduled very last minute. I was surprised, but excited to get this done and over with!

3) Phone Consult.

On Monday April 27th I got a call from the hospital to go over the paperwork I had been sent. They asked a ton of questions about my health, to which I answered ‘no’ to everything. I’m perfectly healthy apart from the cancer. My parents listened in as well so we could all be on the same page in terms of knowing what to expect before, during, and after surgery.

4) Live Teach & Talk.

The day before surgery, on Tuesday April 28th, I got a call to come in last minute for a teach and talk from the Breast Cancer Clinic (where I had initially received my diagnosis) regarding my drains and the possibility of lymphedema. Mom got to come into the hospital with me for this because she is deemed my ‘essential’ in post-surgery care. We learned how to measure my arm to check for signs of lymphedema and how to empty and measure the blood from my drains. I am not going to lie— lymphedema sounds absolutely terrifying. I do not want to have to wear a compression sleeve for the rest of my life. I have worked hard on my body the last few years… I know that I will survive if it happens, but it will be devastating. So fingers crossed I follow their advice as best as possible and avoid that from happening. I won’t know my chances of this happening, really, until I get my results back from the surgeon. I don’t yet know how many lymph nodes were removed. I won’t be able to do weight lifting for a few months. And certainly no pushups for about 6 months. I am bummed as my entire life routine revolves around doing a workout most days… but it’s necessary to heal. In fact, too much movement and strain on the muscles can trigger lymphedema.

5) Surgery Day.

I woke up at 6:30am (my usual time for work anyway) and showered with the special soap my Dad had to pick up for me— I did so in the very specific manner my paperwork had told me to (30 seconds per limb, front to back, top to bottom— don’t forget the nails and belly button!) I had taken out my piercings the night before.

We had to stop off at the plastic surgeon’s office for 8am for her to do my markings (just down the street from the hospital— something about timing and her not being able to get in until surgery time). It only took her about 5 minutes and she wished me luck— I wouldn’t see her come surgery as I’d already be knocked out.

My parents dropped me off at the hospital for 8:15am, giving me big hugs. It is awful not being able to bring in guests/support. I feel for the people who really struggle without support… I head up to the top floor for day surgery and am screened by multiple people for Corona virus. I’m given a locker to put my belongings in as I change into my gown. I do a urine test to ensure I’m not pregnant (I lost my period in November after my first chemo, crazily enough), an ECG test, and bloodwork. They took my blood pressure and measured my height/weight too. Normally these tests would be done a few days in advance, but again, the virus has everything thrown off! I was nervous the ECG would come back badly since my MUGA scan hadn’t been great but I suppose they are two different things and she told me it was perfect. Phew! I was moving forward with the surgery.

What felt like the longest day of my life…

I’m then moved to a recliner chair (much like the chemo ward) and hooked up to an IV. I hate the IV in the arm/hand— I can do it, but not on an empty stomach. And since I hadn’t eaten anything but a small snack the night before at 8pm, I felt woozy as the nurse fussed with my tiny veins in my arm. The IV always hurts me. Immediately I was hooked up on the other arm for more bloodwork and nearly blacked out. Luckily I was able to recline my chair and just focus on my breathing. I got a little emotional just thinking about life the last few months and how crazy a turn everything had taken… but I calmed down eventually. I was the only one in there apart from an older man going in for surgery on his leg. All I could hear were nurses talking about the COVID-19 patients in the hospital— so that was… fun. I waited there for 2.5 hours in this recliner. Alone in the dark corner. Luckily I had my phone and messaged friends and family and just watched some YouTube to pass the time.

I was greeted by a nurse who would be assisting in the operating room. I had to sign some documents before heading in. Shortly after that I was told to use the washroom and put away my belongings. The anesthesiologist came by to discuss the method he would be putting me under.

Shortly after I was guided into the operating room where that same nurse and anesthesiologist were waiting for me. There were two others in the room prepping things. I went to the bed and was told to sit at the very edge of the bed to steady myself. The anesthesiologist chatted to me about my work and other light conversational topics as he put two things into my IV (one burned really badly and the other felt insanely cold). I leaned over to receive an epidural to the back and remember reaching out to hold the nurse’s hands just as I went off to la-la land…

I remember waking up as they wheeled me into the room for observations immediately after surgery. I think I was chatting and asking questions, haha. I was given some pills with apple juice and felt fine. I was wiggling my arms and legs and felt surprisingly chipper.

After about 1 hour I was moved into the day surgery recovery room.

I was monitored every 15 minutes for the first few hours (blood pressure and asked how I was feeling in terms of nausea, pain, etc.) I remember feeling so thirsty and not having a very strong voice. They had warned me the breathing tube could cause a sore throat but luckily I didn’t get that. Just dryness! As the hours went on, I started to feel weaker. Sleepier. More in pain. My blood pressure never got too high even after 8 hours. The nurse there figured it’s naturally low because I work out often and I’m a petite person. But still, I had to stay a few extra hours because I just couldn’t walk straight. I made it to the bathroom but just barely. I had some more juice, and eventually he gave me Gravol and Percocet. I slept for a bit and finally (nearly 4 hours after estimated leaving time making it a total of 8 hours), I was able to get up, dress myself (all dignity gone… you get dressed ass-naked in front of a male nurse steadying you), and get into the wheelchair. What a long day! I wanted to go home hours ago but I was just too weak. I stayed nearly triple the amount of time the other mastectomy patients stayed, I heard the nurses say… I wasn’t nauseous, just fatigued to the point I couldn’t move. I felt great by 10pm luckily and my parents were waiting at the front door to collect me. Luckily they had filled my prescription beforehand— the nurse had to run it out to them at 7pm so that the pharmacy wouldn’t close on us before I was let out! I thanked my nurse for taking good care of me, hobbled up into the seat of the car, and we drove home.

I chatted a bit about the experience with my parents and managed to have some soup, some apple juice, and a cookie once home. Mom helped me empty my drains and take my pain meds at 11pm and by 11:30pm I was asleep. My parents had bought me an Ugg wedge pillow so that I don’t have to lie down completely flat. It was a great sleep!

6) The Next Day (aka today).

I woke up at 5am from my mom checking in on me. She slept in the spare bedroom downstairs just in case I was struggling. Ozzy stayed with her to avoid him trying to sleep on my chest as he normally likes to do sometimes! Poor baby kept crying to get attention from me, haha. We emptied my drains, writing down their measurements and checking for blood clots in the lines and I took more pain meds. I went back to bed for a few more hours.

Once I was up for good, I had some breakfast and went for a walk outside with my mom.

My day basically consisted of me taking pills, emptying my drains, eating, going for walks, playing piano, and napping. I also sat outside in sun for a bit. Overall, I think I am doing okay— thankfully! I will keep you posted on my healing process.

Managed to get my nose ring back in without problems, phew!

So what’s next?

7) Monitoring my drains.

I was told to call my plastic surgeon on Monday to give her an update on my drains. If they were producing less than 30ml each by then, I can get them removed. I assume I’ll get an estimated time on my first expander fill then too, but I’ll have to see! She said the virus is causing timing to be delayed… of course…

8) Pathology Results.

Wednesday May 6th I am supposed to get my pathology results back. AKA did they clear all of the cancer? I am not sure yet if it will be in person with my surgeon or just a phone call. They told me it will depend on whether my drains are out yet or not. This is the most important call of my life, I feel. I am nervous and anxious but I also am just so ready to know..! For now I will continue to do my stretches and work on resting and healing. The rest is out of my hands.

9 hours post surgery. Drains are all tucked in for the night. Mom nicknamed them my triplets haha!

I haven’t looked at my chest yet as I’m to keep my bandages on for the week and avoid getting them wet— yay for sponge baths! I feel okay with the idea of being flat without nipples, but I’m sure I’ll get emotional once I see myself in the mirror for the first time. I loved my boobs!

9) Radiation.

I have a consult with the radiologist oncologist on May 26th, so I will keep you posted on this next chapter of my journey. It will likely be 5 weeks of 5x/week getting radiation (I am nervous I will get burn scars, but we will deal with that if the time comes).

10) Menopause.

I don’t have my date yet, but once I’m done healing and gotten through radiation, my oncologist wants to discuss putting me on medication (Tamoxifen) for the next ten years of my life that will put me into menopause. I will get the joyous hot flashes non stop, potentially have bad skin, thinner hair, and of course, be unable to have children until I’m 40. I am not looking forward to this— it will make dating that much harder, the side effects will be annoying, but because my cancer is fuelled by estrogen, I must, to avoid recurrence as best as possible…

So that’s the scoop— another chapter down. My journey is far from over, but this is a big part out of the way. I just pray that the pathology tests come back clear!

Thank you for reading, thank you for your support. I will talk to you all soon.

Feel free to email me at shestaysstrongblog@gmail.com or follow me on Instagram @shestaysstrongblog for more frequent updates!

#shestaysstrong

xoxo