Tuesday December 17th, 2019 was my 3rd round of chemo (3/4 on this set of drugs, which are apparently the worst of the two, so I’m happy about that!)

Love the Christmas decorations hanging from the machines!

I have to say I have been lucky so far. I am always chipper coming into chemo and though I am quite ‘blah’ mentally and physically for one week afterwards, I do think my symptoms are minimal and I’d like to think I tough it out as best I can. Every person is different though! So please be aware of that and help out where you can. Every round is a bit different for me, too. So here’s how this round is going (so far…)

I used my Port for the second time, and though you might assume getting a thicker needle stabbed into your chest vs. into your arm would be more painful, I can tell you, my bloodwork yesterday hurt more in 1 minute than using my port for 2 hours. I always bruise and find it tricky to find the veins in my arms so the port is a blessing (as the nurses told me it would be once healed!)

Chemo and Sudoku = A-Okay. Also PS: That’s not blood, it’s just the colour of the drug!

A (very brief) summary of my Chemo Rounds thus far:

- Round 1 I had chemo at 10:15am and felt more nauseous throughout the entire first week. I used my hand this round and my digestive issues were very bad. I felt like I couldn’t breathe at times (mainly from acid reflux and anxiety), and ended up calling the hospital at midnight one night for some advice.

- Round 2 I had my chemo near the end of the day at 3:30pm and felt pretty great the first 3 days but more ‘blah’ throughout the weekend and following Monday. My digestive issues weren’t as bad, but certainly still bugging me. I think depression hit me like a brick that weekend because I hardly left my bed (YouTube videos and chats with Matt and friends got me through! I knew it would pass).

- Round 3 was earliest out of all three appointments so far at 9:30am and I think I’m getting a better handle on when to eat, rest, take my pills, work can I can, etc. I do suspect I’ll be a bit more nauseous like my first round and still have some of the digestive issues (though hopefully not as bad!) It’s only the day after so I guess we’ll have to see!

Almost done chemo for the day! Round 3 nearly complete.

I always go to chemo with either Mom or Dad by my side. Though I’m usually pretty sleepy throughout it and not very chatty (cue the Sudoku book— thanks Char, Jen, and Kal for the great gifts!) It must be boring for them, but I’m happy to just sit in silence and have them with me.

The chemo room is set up with an admin desk in the front, waiting area, a little kitchenette in case you want to bring snacks and drinks, an office for the nurses in the centre, and comfy Lazy-Boy type chairs around the perimeter for us lucky cancer patients (at least we’re near windows and the seats recline!) There’s also a curtain if you wish to section yourself off from the others.

My chemo right now consists of two drugs. I take a few anti-nausea pills just before. The nurses must wear a mask and gloves and tape off my port while getting access to it. One drug is pushed through manually by a nurse and is bright red (it makes my urine red for a few hours afterwards— freaky). And the second drug is drip and takes longer. It also makes my eyes water and nose feel a bit burn-y (kind of like if you eat too much wasabi all at once!) They follow up with a blood clot reducer and saline to flush out the port. And voila! That’s really it.

After chemo I typically go home to eat and then have a nap. It’s a bit tougher on the days where chemo is in the morning because it throws me off schedule, I sleep more, and the nausea creeps back by that evening, but either way, I get by.

I’m writing this about 36 hours post chemo. My day today (Wednesday December 18th, 2019) consisted of:

Work. I got up to my cat screaming at 5:30am for food, which is when I get up for work anyway, so that’s fine. Unfortunately I wasn’t feeling the greatest though so I worked from bed and didn’t feel like going on webcam today for my team meetings and what not. I worked just under 2 hours then had a nap. I worked about another hour then had my first meal of the day with my anti-nausea meds (which make me sleepy) so I pumped out another hour of work before having— you guessed it, another nap. I did a little bit more work before kind of giving up and giving in to the sleepiness and just having a good snooze until the late afternoon. SERIOUSLY— props to you all who manage to work outside the home, take care of children, do errands, run a business… you’re badasses to the utmost degree!

After my work-nap day, I managed to force myself to walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Nothing fast. No incline. I don’t want to completely drain myself, but I know I need to get up and move for my health.

I played some Christmas songs on the piano (yay for being festive) since my goal for the last 2 years has been to get back into playing and I know that even if I just practice 2 songs that it’s better than nothing.

I took a bath while doing my bare minimum DuoLingo language training (just focused on French today). It’s only about 10 minutes of my day but again, it’s better than nothing.

I made myself dinner (which is a win. I haven’t made many of my own meals the days right after chemo so I felt a little more independent today!) I had salmon, rice, and vegetables. (Sorry mom and Dad, they came home to a stinky house! Haha!)

I call Matt back since I had been napping when he tried calling earlier and we had a good chat about work and exercise mostly. Love you!

Journaled. Self-explanatory. I felt like it and wanted to record how I have been feeling the last day or two, so here we are! Hope you don’t mind ;)

I think how I want to wrap this up, is by saying… every day is different. Every hour is either ‘I’m feeling okay, let’s do something with this time’, or ‘I’m not feeling well, let’s take a moment to myself.’ And I’m getting a little bit more used to it. I put a lot of pressure on myself to work as much as I can, to keep up with my little daily routines and goals as much as I can, to engage with people as much as I can, etc. But I know this journey requires you to be gentle with yourself and so I’m finding my rhythm.